Has all of River’s life and work been about researching the Doctor? That’s so disappointing. “They made you a doctor today,” Eyepatch Lady says to River. And anyway, what’s the point of this “eyewitness reports”? Who’s gathering them? River? Why? There must be thousands of “eyewitness reports” of the Doctor throughout Earth history, and of course they’d be from all over his own timeline, and not chronological compared to Earth history. Though how she could know that is ridiculous. Or… wait… the hat was so that River could know, from her research in the 51st century, which “eyewitness reports” of the Doctor related to the time of his death. Come on, people! What a shocking lack of imagination for such an imaginative show. Craig gives it to him at the last minute? Just because? I thought he’d be having adventures in the American West or something. Eyepatch Lady could have dressed her in a gorilla suit and it all would be otherwise exactly the same. So, River is in the astronaut suit when she kills the Doctor for no reason at all except that we’ve already seen her in the astronaut suit so she has to be in the astronaut suit. My goodness, even the bit at the end with River Song was filler! Exciting! Not! How can there be room for a filler episode in this death-of-the-Doctor arc? Steven Moffat couldn’t come up with enough story to fill 13 episodes with the Silence and the Doctor’s murder and the history of River Song and Amy and Rory having a baby and all the other stuff? We need to tread water for an entire episode? So, after the strained setup, we get a good two hours - it felt like it, anyway - of running around a department store asking people if anything weird is going on and busting in on women in changing rooms. Does Doctor Who really want to descend to the level of Look Who’s Talking?ĭaleks and Slitheen are more plausible than “I speak baby.” As an extended joke running through an entire episode, it was downright ridiculous.
They certainly don’t have the mental capacity to prefer to be called “Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All.” As a one-off joke it was pretty bad. At this point, the Doctor being able to communicate verbally with a baby was hardly a surprise, having been a brief joke in a previous episode… but really: babies don’t have the cognitive function to make themselves understood on that level. The Doctor dropping by on a “social call” to a former companion, which was to consist of saying hi and leaving until he was distracted by an infant? This I was not expecting. I know this is allegedly a kids’ show and all, but still: Doctor Who needs an episode set in a pub.Ĭybermen invading a department store and killing all the black employees? This I was not expecting. I honestly thought that with the title “Closing Time,” this episode was going to be set in a pub. (all spoilers! don’t read till you’ve seen the episode! this is a love fest only - all complaints and bitching must come from a place of love / previous: “The God Complex”)
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